Adult like faith....what does it look like? Ugliness, hatefulness, envy, jealousy, judgemental....just to name a few. Now you may be thinking whoa...where are you coming from so just sit tight for a second and read the rest of the story.
Have you been around a child lately? I sat in a daycare room at our church for a bit this afternoon and observed a couple of them. There is beauty...something almost sacred and divine surrounding children. There is such a sense of purity and innocence when around them.
And before children are "impressed upon" with our WORLDLY religious systems views, they love everyone. To children, it doesn't matter how "bad" we have messed up, they love us anyway. They do not judge because they know no system of judgement. They have nothing to base "how bad we are" against. They simply look at us, and they love us.
I think back to my own life and try to remember when I began judging people. I guess it when I learned all the "Thou Shall Not's" in Sunday School and I "grew up" and begin pointing out others mistakes. How often I pointed my bony finger at others and said, "But she sleeps around," or "He is an alcoholic," or "She gossips about everyone," or "They don't go to church". For more years that I want to admit, I judged others on a "sin scale" while never dealing with or really even recognizing my own sin!
A couple years ago, I had an encounter with God that opened my eyes to a scripture that I had read numerous times throughout my life and THOUGHT I understood. Let me share it with you:
But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to SUCH AS THESE" (emphasis mine)...Luke 18:16.
So who are these "such as these"? Those are the innocent eyes of children. The eyes that see the good in others instead of looking for the bad. The mouths of children that build up others up instead of tearing them down. The innocent heart that loves no matter what has happened or what we've done. The kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
So are you and I considered to be "such as these" with childlike faith or have we matured so much so that we have appointed our self judge so we may point out others faults? Maybe it's time to revert back to our childhood faith and love unconditionally...because the greatest of all these (commandments) is love.
Something to ponder....
Until next time....
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
For Worse, For Poorer and In Sickness
For some reason, God has placed people in my path over the last month that are having or have recently had "bumps" in their marriage. And if you are reading this and have been married more than 2 weeks, well, you've probably experienced bumps in your marriage as well!
Bumps are normal. Bumps are not fun. Bumps can be big or bumps can be small. Bumps happen. The important thing is what we DO with those bumps!
Divorce is rampant these days. I mean throwing in the towel and walking away just seems like the easy and logical thing to do when our marriages head south, right? I have personally experienced divorce and I can tell you, it was horrible (even when there were no children involved).
Now here me when I say this...I do not believe you should stay in a marriage if you are being physically abused. I am sure some who read this will disagree but personally, I would not encourage anyone to stay in a situation when their life and well-being is at stake...I'm sorry, I just don't.
But if you are not being beaten, then I do believe there is hope.
Wayne and I have certainly experienced our bumps and WE STILL DO! Some bumps are bigger than others but with God's help, we work through them. We have put forth the effort to hang on to the "for worse, for poorer and for sickness" part of our marriage vows.
But I want to share something that God has been speaking to me lately. During your ceremonies (whether big or small; in a church filled with friends or in a courthouse with a judge and a witness), you committed to LOVE and to CHERISH each other.
Love...it is a word we throw around these days like a pair of shoes we kick of when we walk through our door after work: "oh, I LOVE those jeans", "I just love that truck", "that is the cutest outfit..I just LOVE it". Can you think of a couple of things that you "JUST LOVE"? I can!
Love isn't the feeling of butterflies we get when we see our spouse....love is saying YES to our committment! It is being there in the good and in the bad; in the plenty and in the want; in the failure and in the triumph. LOVE IS A CHOICE AND DECISION!
And now let's talk about cherish. What exactly does that mean? According to Webster's, cherish means to hold dear; to feel or show affection for; to keep or cultivate with care and affection; to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply.
Do something for me. Think about your spouse this very second. Do you have them in your mind? Okay, so what are your thoughts about them (don't say them out loud in case they are sitting near and your thoughts aren't very pleasant)?
There have been times in my marriage that my thoughts of Wayne were anything but good! And there have been times that those not so good thoughts have lasted days, weeks and at one point, even months. I would be lying to you if I told you I had never thought of "throwing in the towel" because I have but by the grace of God, He has stepped in and restored what the devil meant to destroy.
You see, during what I feel like was the lowest point in our marriage, Wayne and I had disconnected from each other. He was travelling with his job all the time and I had two babies at home who I had to take care of. I guess we still loved each other because of the commitment we had made but he cherished his job and I cherished the kids. We no longer cherished each other so we became disconnected. When disconnection happened, things started falling apart slowly and before we knew it, we really didn't even like each other let alone love each other!
But somehow God stepped in and took over. God sent me to a "retreat" where I heard a wise man say to a group of broken women...."Ladies, you MUST date your spouse throught your marriage. I know some of you have small children who solely depend on you but if you don't date your spouse and stay connected with him, when those kids grow up and leave your home, you are going to look at your spouse and wonder who in the world they are." I don't think any truer words have been spoken!
I have a friend whose spouse was unfaithful to her. When she shared her story with me, I was blown away. There was one statement she made that will be forever etched in my mind and it was this: "It was not all his fault that he cheated on me...I was partially to blame". "Um hello, how do you figure that," I remember thinking! She went on to explain she had busied her life with her children and grandchildren and shopping and her husband had been moved to the "back-burner". She said, "I was not there for him when he needed someone to talk to and his secretary was...so I can't blame the entire thing on him."
Talk about a wake up call....
That is so true. We get so busy doing what WE want or we think we HAVE to do that often our spouses get little if any attention from us (and what they do get is our "leftovers"). We begin cherishing our kids, our jobs, our friends and our hobbies without even realizing it and our husbands or wives get booted out of the picture!
Ask yourself these questions: When was the last time I had affectionate or fond thoughts of my husband or wife? Do I feel or show fondness toward my man or my woman? When was the last time I put forth the effort to cultivated my marriage? Am I always looking for something else to do so I will not be at home with them?
Depending on your answers, maybe it is time to call the grandparents or get a babysitter and schedule a real live date with your spouse. I promise you if you will put forth the effort to revitalize your marriage, your spouse will notice and you will begin to see things turn around. Show them they are worth it! MAKE TIME for them!
Just something to ponder....
Until next time....
ON A FOOTNOTE: Quit looking for things that your spouse does that irritates the snot out of you. Believe it or not, you do some things that irritate the snot out of them too! Let the anger go and forgive them for NOT being there when you needed them. How do I know you feel this way? Because I have had the same feelings but until I let the anger and resentment go, our marriage was mediocre at best. I LOOKED for things that Wayne was doing wrong. It is not a one time thing...it is a continual forgiving process. It is a choice I make so you make it too!
ON A FOOTNOTE TO A FOOTNOTE: Kids are not dumb, they are just little. My kids could feel the tension between Wayne and I. Even now, if we are "disagreeing", our kids seem to draw off of that and their behavior shows. So if you might be at a loss for what is going on with your kids...take a look at your marriage...it will affect them!
Bumps are normal. Bumps are not fun. Bumps can be big or bumps can be small. Bumps happen. The important thing is what we DO with those bumps!
Divorce is rampant these days. I mean throwing in the towel and walking away just seems like the easy and logical thing to do when our marriages head south, right? I have personally experienced divorce and I can tell you, it was horrible (even when there were no children involved).
Now here me when I say this...I do not believe you should stay in a marriage if you are being physically abused. I am sure some who read this will disagree but personally, I would not encourage anyone to stay in a situation when their life and well-being is at stake...I'm sorry, I just don't.
But if you are not being beaten, then I do believe there is hope.
Wayne and I have certainly experienced our bumps and WE STILL DO! Some bumps are bigger than others but with God's help, we work through them. We have put forth the effort to hang on to the "for worse, for poorer and for sickness" part of our marriage vows.
But I want to share something that God has been speaking to me lately. During your ceremonies (whether big or small; in a church filled with friends or in a courthouse with a judge and a witness), you committed to LOVE and to CHERISH each other.
Love...it is a word we throw around these days like a pair of shoes we kick of when we walk through our door after work: "oh, I LOVE those jeans", "I just love that truck", "that is the cutest outfit..I just LOVE it". Can you think of a couple of things that you "JUST LOVE"? I can!
Love isn't the feeling of butterflies we get when we see our spouse....love is saying YES to our committment! It is being there in the good and in the bad; in the plenty and in the want; in the failure and in the triumph. LOVE IS A CHOICE AND DECISION!
And now let's talk about cherish. What exactly does that mean? According to Webster's, cherish means to hold dear; to feel or show affection for; to keep or cultivate with care and affection; to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply.
Do something for me. Think about your spouse this very second. Do you have them in your mind? Okay, so what are your thoughts about them (don't say them out loud in case they are sitting near and your thoughts aren't very pleasant)?
There have been times in my marriage that my thoughts of Wayne were anything but good! And there have been times that those not so good thoughts have lasted days, weeks and at one point, even months. I would be lying to you if I told you I had never thought of "throwing in the towel" because I have but by the grace of God, He has stepped in and restored what the devil meant to destroy.
You see, during what I feel like was the lowest point in our marriage, Wayne and I had disconnected from each other. He was travelling with his job all the time and I had two babies at home who I had to take care of. I guess we still loved each other because of the commitment we had made but he cherished his job and I cherished the kids. We no longer cherished each other so we became disconnected. When disconnection happened, things started falling apart slowly and before we knew it, we really didn't even like each other let alone love each other!
But somehow God stepped in and took over. God sent me to a "retreat" where I heard a wise man say to a group of broken women...."Ladies, you MUST date your spouse throught your marriage. I know some of you have small children who solely depend on you but if you don't date your spouse and stay connected with him, when those kids grow up and leave your home, you are going to look at your spouse and wonder who in the world they are." I don't think any truer words have been spoken!
I have a friend whose spouse was unfaithful to her. When she shared her story with me, I was blown away. There was one statement she made that will be forever etched in my mind and it was this: "It was not all his fault that he cheated on me...I was partially to blame". "Um hello, how do you figure that," I remember thinking! She went on to explain she had busied her life with her children and grandchildren and shopping and her husband had been moved to the "back-burner". She said, "I was not there for him when he needed someone to talk to and his secretary was...so I can't blame the entire thing on him."
Talk about a wake up call....
That is so true. We get so busy doing what WE want or we think we HAVE to do that often our spouses get little if any attention from us (and what they do get is our "leftovers"). We begin cherishing our kids, our jobs, our friends and our hobbies without even realizing it and our husbands or wives get booted out of the picture!
Ask yourself these questions: When was the last time I had affectionate or fond thoughts of my husband or wife? Do I feel or show fondness toward my man or my woman? When was the last time I put forth the effort to cultivated my marriage? Am I always looking for something else to do so I will not be at home with them?
Depending on your answers, maybe it is time to call the grandparents or get a babysitter and schedule a real live date with your spouse. I promise you if you will put forth the effort to revitalize your marriage, your spouse will notice and you will begin to see things turn around. Show them they are worth it! MAKE TIME for them!
Just something to ponder....
Until next time....
ON A FOOTNOTE: Quit looking for things that your spouse does that irritates the snot out of you. Believe it or not, you do some things that irritate the snot out of them too! Let the anger go and forgive them for NOT being there when you needed them. How do I know you feel this way? Because I have had the same feelings but until I let the anger and resentment go, our marriage was mediocre at best. I LOOKED for things that Wayne was doing wrong. It is not a one time thing...it is a continual forgiving process. It is a choice I make so you make it too!
ON A FOOTNOTE TO A FOOTNOTE: Kids are not dumb, they are just little. My kids could feel the tension between Wayne and I. Even now, if we are "disagreeing", our kids seem to draw off of that and their behavior shows. So if you might be at a loss for what is going on with your kids...take a look at your marriage...it will affect them!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
My hats off to You...
As she entered the room, she was walking fast and talking fast and had a rather large bag in her hand. "I am just so busy," she said. As she scurried around the tables where we sat, she began pulling hats out of the bag she was carrying and handing them to different people throughout the room. Each hat had a label attached to it. "MOTHER", "WIFE", "DAUGHTER", "TAXI", "CAREGIVER", "BUSINESS-OWNER", "BIBLE STUDY LEADER"...there had to be at least 15 or 20 hats in that bag. As she pulled a hat out of her bag, she would give a little synopsis of what it represented and say, "I don't have time to be a mother today. I've simply got too much to do." As she would pull a hat out of the bag she would say, "I don't have time to be a wife, daughter, taxi driver, caregiver, etc. today because I just have too much to do." I remember one label on a beautiful hat read "MIMI" in which she explained that was her favorite "job" in the whole wide world - being a "Mimi" to her grandchildren, but she really didn't have time to be a "Mimi" today. She went on to explain all of the different hats she "wears".
The message she spoke that day will be forever grained into my mind as it spoke to my soul. She talked of the priorities we have in our life. If we will sit back for a second and think about the "thing" that is most important in our lives, we will find our priority. Maybe it is our children, our favorite pass-time, our families, our jobs, our "beauty" (I mean we do have to get our hair and nails done...right?). So many things vie for our attention and not all things (like the things I've just mentioned) are bad or detrimental to us are they? Certainly our spouses, children, jobs and hobbies are important but are they more important that our fellowship with God? Sometimes they seem to overtake us and we lose our focus on the most important thing....our relationship with God.
I have talked with several people over the last couple of weeks and I seem to hear the same sentence repeated over and over and over: "I just feel so disconnected from God and my friends of faith". And that, my friends, is easy to do. Why? Because life happens. Just like yesterday's post...our time ticks away...second by second; we are living our "dash". But it is up to US as to how to live out our dash.
Did you realize if YOU don't set your OWN priorities then the world will set them for you? That is a freedom we get to exercise but so often we often let things of the world set our priorities for us!
According to Webster's dictionary, priority is defined as superiority in rank, position or privilege. So what serves as priority in your life? What or who gets "top rank" in your thoughts? What or who do you spend the majority of your money on? How do you spend your time? What do you live for? What give you focus in life?
I'm gonna get a little personal here for a second. Do you make it a priority to get up on Sunday mornings to go worship God or is it easier to stay snuggled up under the covers and watch TV? If you do make it to church, are you truly worshiping God during that time period or are you busy wondering what you will eat for lunch or maybe mulling over the argument you had with your spouse or child on the way to church? Do you get your "time" in with God each day or does He get your "leftover" time (which who ever has any "leftover" time...right?) Is God a passing thought to you...maybe you think of Him when you are in need of an answered prayer but other than that, you have Him put of on the shelf covered in dust? Just how far down is God on our "Priority List"?
I post these questions to "you" but I am actually posing them to MYSELF! I find myself feeling disconnected too from time to time but this I do know....my disconnection is my OWN doing! I may have my "God hat" on my head but it is covered by 4 or 5 other hats that have somehow taken priority in my life. That's when I have to slow down, stop, and take a look at my values and beliefs. And 9 times out of 10, I have somehow covered Him up with the other hats that vie for my attention!
So what hat will you find on your head today? Is it time to move it down? Maybe it's time to throw that ol' hat away and get a new one! Whatever the case, you can bet if God is our "top hat", all the other hats will fall into their perfect place!
Just something to ponder....
Until next time....
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Long Time, No See
Well hello there! It has been a while! As I began to try and remember how to post to this blog, I found myself unable to even login. I have a couple different email addresses that I use, one for personal, one for "business" and one that was hacked a couple years back so I do not even use it anymore. For the life of me, I couldn't remember which one I had used to create this blog. But as you can see, I tried and tried until one of them worked and voila, here I am!
I read of a man who stood to speak
I have been thinking about blogging again for a while now but would never slow down long enough to collect my thoughts and type something. Once I was able to login, I realized it has been well over a year (almost 2) since I have posted anything! Seems like something else is always vying for my attention! (Funny thing is, at this very minute, it has been 4 hours since I typed "Well hello there!" above). Why? Well, because life has happened. I have counseled with a dear friend who is experiencing a "bump" in life; returned some phone calls; taken some phone calls and chatted with some people who have dropped by my office! In the middle of all this, lunchtime has happened so I grabbed a warm bowl of potato soup and chatted with Rachelle, our church administrative assistant.
Was any of this bad? No, not at all. Life just ticked away. It just happens.
Sometimes I wish we could press the pause button don't you? Unfortunately, that button isn't afforded to us. Life just continues to tick away. But there is something I want you to ponder for a minute or two: as our life is ticking away...how are we living the ticks? What do our "ticks" represent? Are the "ticks" building others up or tearing them down? Are our "ticks" productive?
There is a poem I read not long ago that I want to share with you. All of our "ticks" add up to our dash. And so, if you are reading this, you are living your dash!
~~ HOW DID YOU LIVE YOUR DASH?~~
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years. (1934 -2000)
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth...
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars...the house...the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard...
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile..
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy's being read
With your life's actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning...to the end.
He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years. (1934 -2000)
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth...
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars...the house...the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard...
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile..
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy's being read
With your life's actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?
So what about the "ticks" that are being added to our dash? Are we using those ticks to make an impact on the kingdom of God?
Just something to ponder......
Until next time...
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