Raising Girls 101

I think if you hold the title of "Dad" or "Mom", you can agree with me that raising kids is H.A.R.D.  It can be a whole lot of fun but it can get real messy too sometimes.  I am blessed with 3 wonderful girls (one who a "step" but I feel like she is my very own).  And I've been at this "parenting" business for the better part of 14 years and one would think the more you do it, the better you would be but that has not been the case with me!  

In my "profession" as a youth minister, I am constantly checking Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and the like to see what not only MY personal kids are up to, but I like to keep tabs on what my spiritual kids are up to as well!  So yesterday as I was lurking on Facebook, I ran across a blog that was addressed to "teenage girls" here http://givenbreath.com/2013/09/03/fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/  and quite frankly, I agreed with most of what Mrs. Hall said.  Yesterday afternoon, I even read the blog to both my girls (ages 11 and 12) because it addressed something I have been talking to them about a lot here lately...their attire.  I will not allow "booty shorts" and low cut tops because as they have heard me say over and over, "it is very unbecoming" and often sends the wrong message to boys.

I shared a story with them last week as we were talking about what we were all going to wear to the Casting Crowns concert and I want to share it with you out there in "blogland".  I would like to claim I came up with this story on my own but I didn't.  I heard Justin Lookadoo tell this story at a youth retreat a couple years ago and it was one of those stories you never forget.

There was a guy that always wanted to be a cop.  He had dreamed of being a cop since childhood.  So before he pursued his lifelong dream, he thought he might "try it out" first to see what it felt like to wear a police uniform.  So out he went and bought a police uniform at a local costume store.  Once home, he tried the uniform on and it fit perfectly.  He decided he would go out and walk the streets just to see how it would feel if he were really a cop.  So he made his way down the busy street and after only one block, he witnessed a lady being mugged and upon seeing him, she yelled, "Officer, officer, please help!"  Caught up in the scene and forgetting he was dressed as a cop, he stood there stunned not realizing the lady was speaking to him.  Finally, he realized she was addressing him to which he replied, "Lady, I'm not a cop, I'm just DRESSED that way."  While he APPEARED to be a cop, he was just a young man who at the time, was a clerk in a department store.

Now you may be wondering what in the world that story has to do with raising kids but just hang tight for a couple more minutes.  

You see, our girls are dressing in "booty shorts" and low cut shirts which they think looks "cute" or "hot" because they are wanting to attract boys or be "popular" because that is what society has bombarded them with.  Think about it...when was the last time you thumbed through a magazine or flicked through the channels on your television and didn't see some scantily clad person advertising the latest "trend"?  But what message are our girls sending out to the boys when they put these clothes on themselves?  

Before too much longer, my girls will be dating age and I do not want them setting themselves up for something they could of possibly avoided.  I don't want them dressing in hopes to grab the attention of the opposite sex and portraying something they are not.  Just like the guy that dressed as a cop; if their attire is skimpy, then they will probably portray themselves as skimpy and be placed in situations that they are not ready for.  There are some guys out there that go for "skimpy", but that is not what I have prayed for for my girls.  And I can tell you from experience, once you make a name for yourself, it is not easily erased with people. 

Now with that said, God can redeem ANYONE, ANYTIME.  So in rebuttal to the first blog by "Mrs. Hall", a mother addressed her with this response here http://putdowntheurinalcake.com/2013/09/dear-mrs-hall-regarding-your-fyi-if-youre-a-teenage-girl/.  

I agree with both moms, but it is MY job, as a mother, to parent my children and use the judgement God has given ME to tell them what is acceptable attire and what is not.  And far too often, parents give their children too much freedom in selecting their own attire.  But not only that, there is little to no parental involvement in their "online shenanigans" as to what they post and what they text.  It takes a little extra digging sometimes, but isn't it worth it to protect them from some of the same mistakes WE have made?  We, as parents, can not let society tell us it is okay to allow our kids to post or text things because "everyone else does it".    

Until next time.....